Jun
22
2011
May be a while till u hear this again so
PEACE!!!
Jun
9
2011
Category :
Time: 10:00 AM
Peace!
Jun
8
2011
so idk what to blog about. im going back to school next week for an art camp. sounds like it'll be alot of fun. six 6-hour days of art.
i also bought a book for the first time ever haha. its called on truths and untruths. its just excerpts from Fredrick Nietzsche's other books.
i might grow my facial hair out a little sence i wont be in school.
wow i think thats it for tonight...
oh i have 10 left in my last pack. then ill only smoke from my friends packs. not gona buy another pack this summer
alright i think thats really it haha
Peace!!!
May
28
2011
so lifes been interesting. im obsessed with Coal still... nuthin new there. we were talking today and somone was like do you guys mind gay guys? i was honest. as long as people are themselves, and not a guy who wants attention and talks with a lisp and is obsessed with pink than i dont care. if you truly like pink, have a lisp, and are gay thans thats fine too, i just wont be friends with you because that gets on my nerves. nothing against you, were just not ment to be friends. and Coal was like i mean if you cant help it to like guys thats fine, but dont be in my face about it. i really wanted to come out, but thatd be a bad idea. best case, he dosent care and we go on like nothing changed. worst case he stops talking to me. so why change anything?
oh i got an iphone 4! a lil while ago haha but i dont think i ever told yall
and i applied to a starbucks in my town. hope i get the job.
im gona quit smoking after exams. i said the end of the month, but im already feeling the stress of exams and there two weeks away.
i was at a party tonight. it was kinda lame though. we got there at like 9 and hung out until 12 when a few more people came. only 7 kids so idk if id call it a party. more of a get together. i had a beer at 12, but i knew i had to go home so i waited until 1 to leave because id rather get a ticket for driving past curfew than for drunk driving, even though it was just one beer. dident want to take any chances.
my cars still screwed up. my driver windows stuck rolled down, my ac dosent work, the elextronics on my steering colom, along with my door, dont work (including turn signals... good think i know hand signals) but im getting it fixed on tuesday.
ok im tired.
Peace!
May
14
2011
Category :
Time: 10:16 AM
May
9
2011
Category :
Time: 1:00 PM
then a math section which i think i got 14/18 right one, fallowed by 2 english sections. started at 8 and lasted until 1130. the nice thing is tomorrow i get to skip my last few classes and go home early for completing the SAT's.
my friends got me to agree to quit smoking at the end of the month. they made a good point by telling me that saying after this pack isent a concrete date, but the 31st is. so ill try and quit again. honistaly i cant believe i ever picked those peices of shit up again. im really bumed in myself, and im gona be even more bumed when i have to quit.
Peace!
May
7
2011
oh and idk why, but when ever more than one persons are at my house, i cant relax. im constantly up tight and it pisses me off, along with the other people because im always being a "party pooper" even though there the ones doing shit to my house.
so thats just my little rant. btw, im sore as shit from wresting for 30 minuets straight. im also bruised all over. im gone try and go to bed now.
Peace!
Apr
27
2011
Category :
Time: 3:03 PM
on top of that, monday i dropped my phone and my buttons on the outside of my phone poped off, and i dident realize it. went back an hour later to look for it, they were gone... so now my phones buttons are hard to use...
i really want an iphone, i mean come on, who dosent? but, its an extra 20 buck a month, and at least 200 to buy the phone itself. but, that being said, a normal ipod that id want would be at least that too. so would it be worth an extra $240 a year to have it all in one? idk... i gota think about that haha
so day one of my trip was completly uneventful. just an 8 hour car ride of sleep and music.
day 2, much more eventful haha. we got up at 7, got ready, ate, and were on our way to the work site. we get there, 20 minuet drive, and its out in the boonies. my job for that day was to pick up a fallen room (colapsed by snow) and move it to a burn pit. that took alllllll day. and on top of that, i have bad pollin allergies. so i was in hell with the heat, sneezing, and hard work, but i knew it was for somone who really needed it, a handycaped man and his dog. we finished it all that day, there were probably 8 of us doing that. oh and did i mention i hate spiders? there were gigantic ones...
then we got home, back to a church where there was 2 main bunk rooms, and a game room including a pool table, foosball, ping pong, and air hockey, not to mention a small 4 square area too. i know it sounds awesome, and it was, but its was under kept at the same time.
that night we went to play soccer too. that was fun until i got a migraine from dehydration.
then we hung out for a little back at the house and then went to bed. btw, this year, a teacher slept in both the bunk rooms so noone could sneek out... but one kid still did and smoked weed. i was jelous haha
then came day 3. sence i had such bad allergys the day before, the leaders said i could stay back for the morning and help out with a poor house type of thing, surving coffee and bisxuits with sausage to the poor. that was interesting. we must have served 50 people. then we went back to the work site for the afternoon. my job was to cut 2x4x8's to get nailed to the ceiling for the new ceiling tiles to be stapled too. i did that for the rest of the day.
when we got home, we went and played soccer again, this time it was shirts vs. skins. i was on skins. the good thing was there were a few other bigger people on my team, so i wasent the only big guy with my shirt off. while playing, i got such bad terf burn on everywhere form me knees, to my shoulder. then we went back home, and slept.
day 4, work site again, except this time i helped put the tiles on the 2x4's i cut the day before. it was row after row of tile alighning and then stapeling.
ahhh dad walked in... ill finish later.
Peace!
Apr
27
undefined
my stand has always been that hunting is ok if theres a purpose. in this case, the birds are anoying, so they shoot them. i guess thats a purpose, but i dont think thats good enough. there doing nothin with these birds they kill except feed them to the forest. i honistaly think thats just reaffirming my beliefs.
now that being said, i also believe that its their property, and i shouldent tell them what they can or cant do, so i said nothing.
wow is that really all i had to say? lame haha
btw guys, im going to the theropist today so maybe ill blog bout that too if anything good comes up haha
Peace!
Apr
25
2011
so i want my ears pierces (cuz i want gauges too) and 2 tattoos (one on the upper part of each calf saying dubito and cogito "doubt, think" in latin)
i expressed myself to my mom, who comes back with i dont want u to get either. i said why, she says it would make u look ugly. she then explains how id have to be paying for myself when im 18 cuz shes not gona help me out at all. i got pissed, told her how she just said id be on my own because im ugly, was pissed for the rest of dinner, and now am pissed still...
oh btw, cut my leg on rush and really hurt my finger... dont ya just love life?
Apr
16
2011
Category :
Time: 8:13 PM
so one of my friends, Nolan, told me a kid at my school, Rob, was bi. that was a shocker because apparently alot of people knew, and i dident. i dont know Rob well, but still.
so i txted the kid who told me he was bi a while back, and told him about Rob, but he knows to not tell anyone. he was like "its good to know there are others like me at our school" and that when i told him bout me. were talking about it now haha
so the kid who got his foot ran over if better today. just hurts when he touches it, but its fine to put weight on it.
so how he got his foot run over is a long story, but ill try to explain it.
so Gary (kid who got his foot run over), Colin, and Nolan (guy from above), were driving around trying to find a party, which after one thing or another, led to us putting a wooden pallet into the bed of Colin's truck to put in some ones yard. well we drove there in 2 cars, Colins and Nolans, and when we got to the girls house, cars came so we left. some kid took the pallet out of the truck, and chucked into a yard, which had cameras in it. so i was in Colins truck, and he took off fast, and Nolan was waiting for Gary to get in his car, thought he was in, ran over his foot, the rest is history.
ok so now im anxious as anything for the trip... ahhhhhhh!
ok guys, probly the last post from a computer till i get back
PEACE!!!!
Apr
15
2011
Category :
Time: 9:12 PM
on another note, my friend ran over another one of my friends foot, he feels like shit, the kid who got his foot run over is calm, and i think his ankle is broken. in the morning, if the ankle is still bad, he said hed tell his parents and have them take him to a doctor.
cant think of anything else to say... i feel bad cuz its been so long. um... grrr... i hate that feeling when you think you have alot to talk to a friend about, but when you hang out you forget what u were gona talk about... thats how i feel now.
sorry guys
oh im on spring break now! i leave for this trip on sunday, and come back friday.
alright im tired...
oh, i went all week without smoking. that was big for me =) but sence its the weekend, i can smoke again
alright
PEACE!
Apr
1
2011
Category :
Time: 9:40 PM
i came out to my hair cuttris? stylist? idk haha but we were talking about my summer job, and i think i told you all about how my bosses doughter had a crush on me. well she was like you should have gone out with her, get a pay raise, then dumped her. now this sounds bad, but if you knew her, shes younger person (24ish) and she will say whatevers on her mind. i was like "ehhhh..." she was like what is she ugly? i was like no... lets just call it sexual preference. she goes wait... are you gay? i was like yup. and she took it well. we dident talk about it much, but i guess its a lot to handle sence iv known her for like 4 months.
and my theropist, we were talking about the party i was at last weekend (ill tell you about that later) and he was like any hot girls there? i was like eh... he was like they were just ok? i was like well... im gay. he took it well too and told me not to worry, he wouldent tell my parents, and he's worked with LGBT comunity at a few public schools, and one of his 2 brothers is gay. so i guess its good he knows now.
so the party! it was alot of fun. it was 9 of us, and 7 of us spent the night. we had three 30 packs and a bottle of coconut rum. i brought pinaple jouice for the rum. we had a good time. only drank like 45 beers in total, and about half the bottle. it was a small bottle anyway. i only have one regret. i smoked alot of ciggarets becaus a few of the other guys smoked, and smoke alot more when there drinking. i think i had 4 that night, which isent good, i dont have to tell you guys that. well while i was at the party, 2 of my friends were bugging me about the party. they wanted to know where it was. i said i wasent going to tell them because the guy who had the party dident want it to get big at all. well they were like we'll find your car. i was like good luck then hung up on them. they txt'd me like 20 minuets later and it said "come look at your car" so a bolted outside and found them in one of the kids truck, and my windows were covered in things like "abortion kills" "believe in Jesus" "trust the bible" and my fav, "honk if you dated my husband"
i couldent help but crack up at first, then i got mad because i dident want to offend anyone and get my car keyed haha
well they left, and i was sitting on the deck like 20 minuets later, and i heard the truck come back. i went to see what they were doing this time, and they brought windex and paper towls and washed it off. they were cool about it
so now what im doing to cut back on smoking. i did get back into it. i never really said it, but i did. one of my friends and i are making rulls for outselves. 6 cigs this weekend, 5 next weekend and the weekends that fallow. im gona go a step further and try to cut back more, but no promisces. and were only smoking on the weekends, and only shortys, the smallest cigs they sell. so this wont stop me from smoking (obviously) but it will, like i said, help me cut back
also, just an update, my neck is slowly getting better. my knee is fine now cuz i only hit my knee cap. my neck im iffy about. i slept on it weird this morning, so im gona go to bed tonight, and if it still hurts tomorrow, ill tell my dad and let him give me advice. not that i dont trust you guys, i really do, but his dad was a doctor and his mom a nourse, so if he says we may wana get it checked out, he'll take me because i cant drive myself haha
ok guys, iv typed enough for one night. oh and did i mention, my key board is missing the enter key and "K"key becaus i broke them. i was getting crumbs out, and broke the retainers, so im gona find a computer shop and get some more. ill order them if i have to.
one more thing. im thinking about getting a 12 inch sub for my car. ill mount it in a box and bolt the box down in my trunk. i figure i dont need 2, and one 12 i like more than just one 10. im not doing this until atleast half way through the summer when im earning money haha
ok guys,
Peace!
Mar
31
undefined

hey guys, so i need to tell yall bout my weekend, but i dont really have time for that and my car tonight so i figure i wont leave you with a cliff hanger and ill post bout my weekend later.
so my car... well it was raining out. there was a red light so, as the people infront of me, i stoped. well i guess the car behind me dident see me stop? or wasent paying attention? idk but the point is, he realized we stoped, slamed on his breaks, i hear the screach of him sliding into me, and he ramed me into the car infront of me. the truck (car behind) wasent that bad, and the car infront of me was barly scratched, but my car was the worste. i could barley drive it because the bumper was rubbing against my tire. i drove it to a friends, then had it towed to a body shop. oh and i got all the info from the other 2 guys on the scean, and 2 cops came, and we were all fine. my neck is a little soar from the whiplash (i assume) and my knee hurts because it hit my stearing wheel, but thats about it.
so thats my car =)
my pictures... ugh ill upload them sometime haha probably tomorrow but no promises! i have fun taking and edditing them, but uploading them is kinda a hastle.
Peace!
Mar
25
2011
i then remembered he has aspergers. no one told me that, but i know alot of people with aspergers, so i know how to tell. i then started to think about why he would try and power through me. i figured out that he though i was being an ass and messing with him by blocking the door way. it sucks that because of other kids ignorance, they pick on him, and most kids with aspergers. most of them start to think that everyones always picking on them.
i still think hes a douche bag. i know a riped sleeve isent much, but im OCD so the whole say i was reminded that my sleeve was no longer perfect because of him. but i feel sorry for him at the same time.
Peace
Mar
25
undefined
21 cigs under a log
from all those lonely nights
why am i so different
am i different
or is everyone else?
read my confessions on a blog
along with all my sights
when did i give up
have i given up
or did everyone else?
they've given up on me
my future was so bright
what the fuck happened
did somthing happen
or is this a new me?
i dont like it,
but ill get by
with my pack of cigs.
Peace
Mar
17
2011
Category :
Time: 6:46 PM
well im a horible irish. i went for italian tonight cuz all the irish pubs were filled to the brim. i wore green though, so thats good right? i had chicken parm, it was great haha
sorry i dont have more to say. thought i did. oh well
you know what they say, if your lucky enough to be irish, your lucky enough
Peace!
Mar
17
undefined
Category :
Time: 1:02 PM
Transcendentalism has a very odd start; it was almost like a test run. Back in Germany, a group of Unitarians started preaching about our souls connection to God, and likewise, to nature. There were followers who related with this connection, but it was fairly limited. It barely spread outside a few towns, and took time to gather people with similar beliefs. However, with the translation of German works like F. D. E. Schleiermacher's Critical Essay Upon the Gospel of St. Luke (1825) and Johann Gottfried van Herder's Spirit of Hebrew Poetry (1782) into English, Transcendentalism spread to readers in the north east region of America. A few readers started to stand out when they made works of their own, closely relating to the beliefs started in these. One of which was Emerson.
Ralph Waldo Emerson was a Boston, Massachusetts native. Although he was faced with death left and right, in everyone from his father right before his eighth birthday to three of his siblings in their childhood, he managed to focus on school work, and made it into Harvard College at 14 as the freshmen messenger to the president. While there, he was distracted by teaching with his uncle, starting to journal, and reading a very large list of books, which is perhaps why he graduated in the middle of his class of 59. Later, he met his wife, Ellen, who along with two of his brothers, died from tuberculosis, just 2 years after they married. After her death, he was left with much doubt regarding his faith. He took a trip to Europe to try and rediscover himself. When he came back, he started lecturing about various subjects, contemplating whether or not this could become a career. He soon met his second wife, Lydia, who Emerson renamed Lidian, with whom he had four children. In 1836, the day before Nature was published, Emerson sparked the idea for a club of likeminded thinkers, which would later be known as the Transcendental Club. This club was the first of its kind, a place for transcendentalists to gather, share their ideas, and debate. He then met and befriended a man named Henry David Thoreau, a likeminded thinker who will prove to expand transcendentalism even farther than Emerson had. The Transcendental club published their first journal, The Dial, in 1840. This project was headed by Emerson, and encouraged many young, yet very intellectual, writers, such as Thoreau. However, 4 years later, The Dial, published its last issue. But, the message had already been spread. Emerson continued lecturing through New England, and even took a second tour of Europe. He published much more poetry throughout the years and wrote in his journal religiously until he died of pneumonia in 1882.
David Henry Thoreau was born in Concord Massachusetts in 1817. After college, he started referring to himself, along with others referring to him, as Henry David Thoreau, even though it was never legally changed. He, like Emerson, went to Harvard College. When his classmates received their diploma, he declined, knowing this was just ink on paper, or sheep’s skin at that time, and he had already gotten then knowledge he paid for. While at Harvard, he left for a small time to teach in Concord, and after graduating, he returned, but it was short lived due to the fact that he refused to punish children with violence. While back in his home town, he met Emerson for the first time, who upon making himself a father figure for Thoreau, introduced him to other writers with similar philosophies. He was urged by Emerson to start a journal, which he did, and later, selections were published in The Dial. From 1840-1844, he lived with Emerson, strengthening their family like bonds, and tutoring his children. He later returned a second time to his home time, where he was inspired to move into solitude to focus on his writing. With that notion, he moved onto a small portion of Emerson’s property near Walden Pond, which inspired his famous, and first, book Walden. While on this 2 year retreat, he ran into a tax collector who informed him that he was 6 years behind on his taxes, and when Thoreau refused to pay, he was sent to jail for a night. The next day, his aunt, to his dismay, paid his taxes and set him free. This interaction with taxes enraged him, leading him to lecture on the misuse of taxes by our government. This lecture was used in his now famous essay Civil Disobedience. While Emerson was on his second Euro trip, he asked Thoreau to return to their house and help his wife while he was away. He left his cabin by the Walden Pond after two years, two months, and two days to comply with Emerson’s request. While at the Emerson house, he published Walden, which was unpopular when first released, but is now revered as an American classic. After Emerson returned, Thoreau moved nearby his dear friend, where he lived until his death. After a long battle with tuberculosis, he contracted bronchitis, which left him bedridden. After a few years in bed, he died in 1862.
A more modern representation of transcendentalism is Dr. Martin Luther King Junior. Although he wasn’t in the Transcendental Club, or published in The Dial, King was very influenced by Thoreau’s Civil Disobedience; specifically, King liked Thoreau’s idea of peaceful protest, which is one of the reasons King is such a great figure today (Carter, 318). If he had lead a bunch of riots instead of silent protests, he would have spend more time in jail, and may not have gotten anything accomplished except deepening segregations roots, making it more difficult for his cause. Another good representation of modern day transcendentalism is Mother Teresa. Again, she was never involved with Transcendentalists directly, but she preached the same ideas of transcendentalism, such as pacifism, simple living, and the importance of God. Mother Teresa was quoted as saying “live simply that others may simply live.”
In conclusion, transcendentalism heavily influenced modern day revolutionaries. From people like Emerson and Thoreau, to Dr. King and Mother Teresa, the world wouldn’t be the same as it is today if any one of these people didn’t share this core idea of peace and simplicity. It’s this idea alone that forced people to stand up and protest, and it’s this idea that will continue to influence young revolutionaries to share their philosophies, and when the time comes, stand up and change the government for the betterment of their society.
PS no, there not deep fried haha. its a very very small amount of mashed potatos. haha but there awsome and served cold
Mar
16
2011
Category :
Time: 3:07 PM
hey guys, i saw my grandmom today. i love her =) shes my dads mom and she loves to make and make other sweets. well ill show you guys what she always makes around st. patys day. there called irish potatos or somthing like that. maybe irish sweet potatos? well there apparently a philly tradition. btw, no im not from philly or PA for that matter. but there awsome. its made with cinimon on the outside, and mashed potatos, coconut, butter, and suger on the inside. there to die for! haha
btw, this is a quick post because i kinda want responces quick. im writing a paper on transendentalism. i wana know if anyone wants to read my rough draft? im finishing it tonight. if you do, comment and ill post it.
Peace!!!
Mar
10
2011
Category :
Time: 6:22 PM
member when i quit cigs? u memeber right? haha well after my little "relaps" i never quit again. so now, about a month later, iv smoked 2 packs. which isent that much, but 2 pack more than i wanted to smoke. im gona try and quit again after i finish this one, but its gona be hard. im gona need your guys support, which i know ill get. i just wana say thanks to all yall who have been there. im sorry if i decieved you in any way. to be honnest, i never really realized i havent blogged about it until now.
so i have like 6-8 cigs left, and i hope they go fast just so i can quit.
Peace!
PS i hope i dident disapoint you guys. i know i disapointed myself.
Mar
9
2011
all i heard were horns
my dad told me his views on that have changed sence he was a kid now that its become prevalent. he feels that as long as no one is showing excessive PDA, thats gays or straights, than its fine to be legally married. i feel the same way. i dont like it when i see two people hooking up on the side of the road, i dont care what sex either of you are!
im kinda pissed off now.
the funny thing is the protesters all had ashes on their heads. i wonder if any of them even knew what it stood for. ashes are an outward sighn of hope for eternal life. how wil you achieve that by bashing people?
if my dad wasent in the car, shit would have gona down, especialy if i was stoped at the light they were at the corner of. wouldent have been good for them
PEACE!!! (ironic haha)
Mar
7
2011
well my camera! im so excited. i have a Nikon D3000. now i wasent expecting it, but my dad got it for me for my birthday. iv taken some cool pictures, but none that i want to post yet. ill post when i find some that will do the camera and i justice haha
so my friend came out to me the other day. not as gay, but as bi. i was driving him home from lunch after school, and he was like are you bi? i said no. he said i gave off the bi vibe, then later, he was just like you know im bi right? i was like no, but id believe it, and later i was like dont worry, ill keep your secret. never told him im gay.
i really wanted to, so i could feel less alone, and same for him, but i was talking to my friend later who brought to my attention that he could be into me. she was right. it was that awkward crush feeling. im not into him. nothing against him, but hes too comical for me. i want someone more serious.
i also went off roading last weekend. it was crazy cuz i wasent driving, and it was in a development, so i knew cops could show up at any time.
i also figured out im a dick to some of my friends because of how much i want there lives. kinda weird, but now that i realize it, im changing it so i guess thats good.
cant think of anything else right now. sorry guys!
Peace!!!
Feb
25
2011
then we slept. i got a headache so the first night was... well rough.
the next day we got up, went to a sequence of small and large groups. at about 4, we had a meeting in the chapple, and druing a prayer serimony, i senior leader got up and gave his take about being yourself. he told us hes gay. i odly felt very uncomfortable. i still dont know why. then after we had dinner, a priest from out school came and talked to us. he told us about how a few years ago, there was an obvious gay kid at my school, and he sat at lunch alone, walked to class alone, and basicaly had no friends because he was gay at an all guys school. he said he may have been the most brave guy at our school.
then he gave us a sheet of 10 questions. number 8 was "would you eat with a homosexual" refrencing that story. a few kids stood up and said it really dident matter, and they knew the senior was nice, kind, and they dident care. i started shaking. i almost stood up and came out. but i dident... i knew there were kids there who wouldent keep there vow and im not comfortable enought with my self to have everyone know. to be completly honest, im a little ashamed. please dont take affence anyone! thats not what i wanted. let me explain...
i know a few gay guys, and girls for that matter. i know there nice, and barely different from everyone else. i know there cooler than most people. i know i like them, and i know im one of them.
the thing is, most of the people in my life dont know any of that. they think all gay guys are girly, discusting, and should be hurt/killed. for that reason, im ashamed to tell them. i know alot of people would be fine with me, but the close people, wouldent...
oh well, thats whats been goin on. i probably forgot somthin or offended somone so ill have to make another post. hope you guys understand
PS i dont sighn things peace at school, and i went to my blog once last year, but i doubt they found it... idk
Peace!!!!!
Feb
17
2011
after that we went to the theater and saw an awsome musical/play thing haha. id say which one it was but i feel like that could give away my location, so i hope you guys dont mind.
after that i got home and convinced my dad that sence today was my golden birthday (17 on the 17th) that i should get to stay home from school. he agreed after a bit of arguing haha.
then i got up this morning, and went to my moms house. i drove with all my windows down and it felt great! it was in the hight 60's today. that alone kept me happy until the sun went down. but when i got home, i saw my mom had presents for me to open. not much, but i never need much. a could pairs of cloths, and money when my mom gets her pay check haha
i went to my friends house to jam with him, and my mom txt'd me saying we were having a surprise birthday dinner for me and i had to get pick up my friend at 6 30. we went to a Japanese steak house. it was great.
but, i felt awkward the whole night. i had 3 friends there, and they all go to public schools. i dont. they know alot of the same people, i dont. it made me realize how much i hate catholic schools. then they talked about girls, i dident. they are all preppy, im not. i just dont fit in the way i used to. iv grown up, iv changed, things wont be like they were before. which is good and bad. i had fun then, and i have memories and knowledge now.
oh well, now i gota think/reminis haha
Peace!
Feb
9
2011
Category :
Time: 3:28 PM
thats really all thats been goin on. ill let you guys know if anything else happens.
Peace!
Feb
4
2011
idk what to do. hes gona get kicked out of school, and his parents arent gona bail him out.
hello depression, we meet again...
but im fine, just dont think it was a good time to relapse...
Peace!
Feb
1
2011




BTW you will see a little cigar in these pictures. im smoking these cigars to "tame" my craving for cigs.
Jan
29
2011
Category :
Time: 9:05 PM
so black swan was interesting... i dident like it, but i could appreciate it if that makes any sense.
oh also check out my WeHeartIt "heart" iv always liked pictures and this seemed cool. i hope you guys dont have to sighn up to check it out, but feel free to if you want =)
http://weheartit.com/Spys89
Peace
Jan
29
undefined
Category :
Time: 12:36 PM
we went to a hipster bar. it was kinda funny because we are not hipster(ish) at all. it was me, my dad, his gf, my sister, and her friend (cute). haha idk whats happenin between my sister and her friend. i think they hooked up but what do i know. so dinner was good.
then today i woke up, went to drum lessons, then met my friend for chinees for lunch.
later im going to hang out with Sara for coffee, shoping, then were gona see Black Swan.
oh i got my computer back =)
also my mom, dads gf, and friend today told me how i looked like i lost weight. my mom thinks im not eating, but believe me, im still eating haha. oh well, maybe they see somthing i dont see. i havent weighed myself in a LONG time, maybe i should? idk i dont base weight off numbers to be honest, its more about look, and i dont think iv changed at all.
so now im just pissed at MapleStory now, and i think i will be until i go get coffee hahaha. apparently it dosent like me, and wont let me launch it. FML
Peace!
Jan
28
2011
Category :
Time: 8:43 AM
now my gig was alot of fun. not perfict, but i figured it was only my first. we were all out of sync for the first song. but after that, it just kept going up. then on the last song, i droped 2 sticks while playing. i have a habit of doing that because i have a light grip, and i was so happy it only happened for that last song haha. we played songs like she (green day), beer (beel big fish), whats my age again, dammit, and caracul (blink 182), 7 nation army (the white stripes), and 2 other songs that i fogot haha
so i probably wanted to post alot more but i forgot haha any reminders guys?
hope yall are still reading.
Peace!
Jan
18
2011
Category :
Time: 10:01 AM
so with that logic, why dont i get depressed when i read other gay blogs? idk maybe it has somthing to do with a video? like live action type thing? idk oh well. just thought id share =)
Peace!
Jan
17
2011
Category :
Time: 1:37 PM
wow guys i still cant believe it.
so today was fun. i hung out with Sara today. shes been depressed and is anarexic again, with a side of balimia (cant spell haha). shes seeing a theropist though so thats good.
idk what else to say... hmmm. i havent realy quit smoking tobacco, and never really think i will, but i think ill try and cut it down. it got to the point where on school days and weekends where my mom was home i was smoking 2 a day, and when my mom wasent home, but i was, it could get up to 5. so i finished my pack, and dont think ill buy another one for a while. its gona suck, but itll test my control over that substance. and if it gets too bad, ill (hopefuly) realize i need to stop for good. but to be honest, if i cut back the way i want to, where im not smoking to relieve stress, but for fun or because im around a bon fire or im with a group of friends, then i dont see any harm in it.
gahhhhhh i dont wan do this project but i have to, so...
Peace!!!
Jan
10
2011
so thats that
now philosophy. so i was thinking... if i could be remembered as one phrase what would it be? well that got me thinking to what i wanted everyones last thought of me to be. i think i want it to be that i would drop everything for anyone. its a little petty, but i dont think its that bad. what do you guys wana be remembered as?
Peace!!!
Jan
3
2011
so remind me if i forget to go over xmas/new years eve. im kinda running short on time and i wana get one thing across well
so me and megan are really close now. she had a boy friend who dumped her when she told her she kissed another guy. now there just close friends. well they were talking and he told her she dident even know half of his story. he told her not to tell anyone this, and that he could read peoples body language and other things to get a good read on people. she told me cuz she trusts me, and i dont really talk to anyone from there school.
well i said it was bs at first, but then she told me he pegged me as "very very very very very gay" and another guys as bi, but with a crush on megan. well everyone from her dance team thinks this one guys atleast bi.
so i said how could he have known that? no one else picked up on it... except for a girl or 2 from her dance team haha
she said his reply was he could hear it in my voice, and he caught me stairing at the bi kids butt haha oops
well this came at a weird time. last night i was wondering if i was really gay. i mean i know i like guys, but do i not like girls? iv always been told that girls dont like me, and i thought maybe that just got impressed into my brain, and i cancled that option out all together.
well now, all i know is im gay, and i dont really care why at the moment.
i also decided i want to go on diet meds. my dad and sis were on them, and i think they could really help. i get an ok amout of exercise, but its my hunger that kills me. apparently they can help with appitite. if i just get into that habit, maybe itll make my life that much better =) ill ask my dad next time i think of it, and hear what he thinks. i mean if i lost 20 pounds, id feel so much better, but maybe the meds mixed with a steady work out plan could get me in shape =)
so what are your guys thoughts?
Peace!!!