so guys... i feel like shit. i had my first cigarette in 5 months (or somthing like that). i hate myself for it. im about as disappointed in myself as you guys will be. first relapse sense i quit... the worst part is, i loved it. thats why i NEED to quit. i should be quitting all together, but im not there YET. i will be.
so black swan was interesting... i dident like it, but i could appreciate it if that makes any sense.
oh also check out my WeHeartIt "heart" iv always liked pictures and this seemed cool. i hope you guys dont have to sighn up to check it out, but feel free to if you want =)
http://weheartit.com/Spys89
Peace
And So It Goes (2014)
9 years ago
8 comments:
I guess we are all having a tough winter, kid... I don't know what made you light that 1st one up, but I'm thinking that you might want to recognize that feeling, sadness or whatever it was, as a trigger. A stress point, of sorts. Maybe when you feel that anxiety or sadness, it'll help to know that so you can distract yourself or stay away from the people around you that are smoking...
For me, I'm at that point myself... I'll likely try to throw myself into something productive, even tho it will be hard. My motivation is gone.
I will also try to spend more time with the people in my life who I care about and who care for me- my friends and that part of my family that I trust my feelings with.
By the way, it has NOTHING to do with your posts, so don't worry. And, if you want to talk you know how to reach me, but for the time being, I won't be commenting on blogs anymore. It's just making me too sad.
I know that you are strong enough to overcome this little setback, Peter.
And, that's all that it is. You've turned down the right path for you, this last 6 months or so, and I feel a lot better about your future happiness because of it. Keep working on that- move foward- knowledge is power... love, tman<3
If you've had one cig in 5 months, I'd say you've done pretty good. I think every smoker backslides at times, but just don't have another one. It's like trying to lose weight: go off the diet one day? OK, get back on it tomorrow! You can do it.
As to the weheartit...seems kinda...dunno...some of it was blocked out and said it wasn't "safe". What's up with that?
Did you get the game going? Hope so.
Peace <3
Jay
Tman, ill be emailing you. but your right. i was having a bad day, i had the chance to get a cig, and i took it. i guess ill just have to avoid those chances at cigs.
Jay, your right, but now i want another cig more. oh well, it will test my ability to overcome.
if its weird for you, no worries. if looking at pictures isent your thing, thats fine. idk about it being blocked though...
no game yet, but still working on it
Peace!
Maybe weird isn't the right word. I like pictures, but these seem counterproductive to quitting smoking, since most of them are of guys smoking!
You'll quit smoking - it's clear you want to, that's what matters. It's not easy. I'm not disappointed in you, I'm glad that you come to us for support. You've definitely got mine, and having lived in a home with smoking parents, and watching them try to quit when they were forced to (and mom starting up again which contributed to her death), I know how tough it is. Admitting you're not perfect isn't easy, but clearly you know you have to work harder at it, so work away!
Peace <3
Jay
Hi there, Spys
I'm not disappointed in you. Smoking is one of the hardest addictions to break, and I think it's always lurking there under the surface. Keeping off it for 5 months is a real achievement - definitely something to be proud of. I guess you just have to learn what the situations are that make you want to smoke, or that lower the mental barriers that prevent you from smoking, so that you can avoid them, or distract yourself.
I understand what you mean about Black Swan - I don't watch many films, but I've read quite a few books that I thought were well-written, and where I thought the author had successfully conveyed the message he or she wanted, but I still didn't like the book.
I've had a look at your WeHeartIt site. A few of the pictures show up as a message saying "unsafe", but the links seem to work on all of them still. I think I have a fairly good idea what your type of guy is now :-)
I think the pictures of guys smoking are the nicotine speaking - you might want to watch out for that.
Take care
Mark
Jay, fair enough, but let me explain that. there are a few reasons there are so many of thoes pictures haha. one of which is it is on my mind alot, but i dont thinks its counterproductive per say. if i just thought about smoking, id probably go get a pack, but the fact that im looking at it almost helps me calm the craving if that makes any sense. also i think guys smoking is attractive, and ill admit, thats not good for my "sobriety"
Mark, im glad you understand haha i had the hardest time conveying that message to one of my friends.
haha the funny thing is my taste in guys is the same as my sisters =P
Peace
That makes sense. I see now. Different things help different people. Believe me, I'm not trying to argue with you! (Though it probably seems that way. I think I'm just having a dense day in the brain department today!)
Peace <3
Jay
Spys,
the fact that you're wracked with guilt is good! (in this case.)
I think you'll be able to kick it!
:-)
-"WARPed" Andy
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