ok, so this will sound like a bad post, but i truly love my mom no matter what i say.
so i came to the realization that my mom takes care of me during the day, and i take care of her during the night. now this isent everynight, but the nights that she goes out, or we go out and meat other people.
like 2 nights ago, she takes me out to meat another single mother and her son. i really like her son. hes a nice guy, a year younger than me, and just a cool guy to hang out with. infact, im hangin with him this weekend. well both our moms like wine. so over the course of the dinner, they have 3-4 glasses each. idk about his mom, but mine was prety far gone. i think shes on med so she a little lower on the tolerance scale. well i drove home, i cleaned up, i made her popcorn, and i did what she asked. it was like i was the parent that night.
now im not saying my mom has a drinking problem, beleive me, i understand she likes to have fun, im just saying, dont get that drunk infront of your son. atleast that my thoughts.
by the way, i have a new bad habit. i found out that papers are alot easier to write after a cigeret. now im not addicted, and i shoulent call it a habit, i've only smoked 2, but i really want to watch that because that somthing i dont want to do alot of.
also, i dont know why, but i have a tendency to be a bad influence. for some reason, when people are around me, they want to do things like try pot, or drink, and i cant understand it. look, i dont drink alot and i really dont smoke alot, but everyone wants to try it with me. am i just a little more advanced for my age? and by that im not saying smoking or drinking is good, just saying i know about it. *sigh* i just dont get it. ok well im gona go to bed. idk when ill post again because my computer is still broken. i hope i wrote enought to get some good comments haha =P
Peace!!!
And So It Goes (2014)
9 years ago
7 comments:
Your mom sounds lonely, kid... And, you're right- she shouldn't drink that much in front of you. Do you notice any patterns here?? You know, I wrote about the problems of addiction before... It's not like you wake up suddenly, one day, and say to yourself, "OMG, I'm addicted!!" It's WAY more subtle than that... Why do you think people get addicted in the first place?? I would wager, that, after the fact, most addicts would wish that they weren't... It's not like only stupid people become addicts, either!! So, how do smart people become addicts?? Think about it... I've already heard all the rationalizations, right here, on your blog!! I'm not addicted, I only smoke occasionally... I can control it.... I didn't smoke, just because I was sad.... Really?? Do you know how many times I've heard real addicts say those same (I mean identical) lines??
If you're not addicted, kid, now is the time to STOP, before you do become addicted... As far as people around you, wanting to indulge... Could be, that you hang with the potheads, or kids that have low self esteem... Kids with a lot going on, and direction to their lives- PURPOSE ... don't get mixed up in this kind of behavior, as much... And, I'll guarantee you, neither do the friends that they hang with.... It's because they don't want to endanger their purpose or future... That's why I worry, when I hear about a kid that is fooling with mind altering chemicals... I've seen it, time and mind- numbing time again (very frustrating, by the way), where chemicals are the major set back, in a kid's life, and, nine times out of ten, the same damned problems are there- divorced parents, loss of faith, hanging with similar, hurt kids, etc., etc., etc........... ad nauseum... It just saddens me... Chemicals will hurt you... they are unnatural to the human body... you are asking your liver, and kidneys to filter stuff that is toxic, and that the human body can't cope with...Every time you smoke or drink hard booze, you are stressing the organs that you need to survive, and dumbing down the ability of your brain to make critical and correct decisions... This isn't rocket science- there are just reams of research, on the subject, so, there really is no excuse for not understanding!! All I can say, in the end, is that, if you really don't care, you are self destructive, and doomed to failure... If you do care, stop while you can... Show your friends that you have balls, and choose a different path... Maybe that's what some of them are waiting for... luv, tman<3
hey Tman, i dont know why but im about to cry writing this responce, so stay with me if i get hard to understand.
idk if you were conecting the addiction to me or my mom, but i can asure you my moms not addicted to alchohol haha
as for me, look, im not dumb, and honestaly, that angers me that somone would sugest that. i know your trying to help, but once i explain somthing, you should realize im anything but dumb.
look, if you want the truth, ill tell you, but its only going to make you more sad...
i crave peoples pitty. if im addicted to tobaco, people will pitty me. i loved it in 8th grade when people went around school saying i was an alchoholic. i got SO much pitty, i was in extacy. but thats only one of my reasons. ill be jumping around alot here sorry.
i dont care what anyone says, i've smoked all of 7 times, im not a pot head, and pot is NOT addictive. end of story about that. the amounts i smoke have very minimul effects on my body. im mature mentaly enough to understand the effects.
i dont drink much anymore. so that takes care of that.
please keep my religious views out of this. they have nothing to do with it. im not suicidal because i dont believe in a God.
that whole me craving pitty thing is my lowest point so far in my life. thats what makes me want to cry, and im about to... i just need to think about things right now. Sorry Tman, Peace!
Hey kid... {{HUGS}}... first of all, I know you're not dumb!! That's why, I take the time to comment here... You have GREAT potential, that you are risking, when you toke or drink... That is just reality... I want you to grow up and experience the wonders of life that are waiting for someone of your obvious passion and curiosity...
I am happy to hear that your pot smoking is limited, but, do not deceive yourself into believing that pot's not addictive (end of story)... Life is chock full of people that believed that, and still smoke, for various reasons that they just can't put a finger on... Happiness. sadness, boredom, etc... IMHO taking a chemical detour when you don't want to face your life, is a very good way to make life even more complicated, and the problems larger... By the way, I can't imagine how you would know what effect the smoking really has on your body- your developing teenage brain specifically... You are at a very critical time in your life, as far as brain development is concerned... Don't take my word on this- there are tons of studies that have tracked the effects of cannabis on the myelin sheath around the brain cells in a pot smoker's brain... The normal sheathing allows water diffusion between the cells and enables the important functions of the brain- memory, cognitive thinking, etc...In a brain affected by the drug, the myelin sheathing is underdeveloped or damaged, in teenagers who smoke at this critical time of development.
It heartens me to hear that you have limited exposure. I would hope, that because you have smoked and seem to want to continue, that you do YOURSELF a big favor, and take the time to look into the actual science on this- no, not some blog that condones smoking as a lifestyle- the real science...
I'm not sure where you got the idea that I thought you were suicidal.... I certainly hope you're not, and would be devastated to hear that you are... I think you know that I think very highly about you, and would NEVER want to bring pain into your life!! You should also know, that I consider my life to be a life of purpose and much of that is driven by a deep faith, that, I believe, has served me well... I will not come here and judge your belief system... I apologize, if you feel that I have... But, at one point, I asked you to keep an open mind, about God... There are times in a boy's or even a man's life, when things happen, to make a person more introspective about things... death, birth, pain, suffering,love, just to mention a few... These experiences immerse you in, what I call 'The cauldron' ... They have a way of changing a guy... Try to keep an open mind and heart kid- it will serve you well!!
I wish I was there, right now, to give you a big hug, kid, like the ones I give to my nephews every time I see them... I wish that you understood how special you are, and didn't feel like people only paid attention out of pity... You have the right to be loved for who you really are, and maybe, someday, if we work on that, together, you'll shed that whole pity thing and reap the joy that awaits you... Sleep tight, little guy...luv, tman<3
Hey Tman, sorry i read your post this morning, but needed a good 10 hours to think about it. i like alot of what you are saying, but i can disprove some of it.
there are not addictive chemicals in marijuana unless it is laced. there are alot of tests that prove that. also, its human nature to want to expirence a different way of thinking and a different way to look at things. think about when you were young. kids spin alot as kids because it gives them a new and exciting way to see the world. now yes, it can be mentaly addictive, where as i wake up and cant get through the day without smoking, but i only smoke on occations like days off of school or at a party, or things like that. and me stoping smoking is a posibility, but one of 2 things would need to happen:
1) i need to get a boyfriend who wants me to stop
2) i need to have a well paying summer job that drug tests
without that, i see nothing wrong with ocationaly smoking.
now on to God... i am open to a diestic God (dont think i spelled that right) but never a thiestic God again. so i have a half open mind, but i dont think its in the direction you want it in.
and that last paragraph is very... well i get empotional when i read it. so far in my actoual life, not virtual, i only get genuine love from my family, and a few of my friends. besides that, i crave somthing from everyone else to egnoledge my existance, which seems to be pitty in my case... i just dont know... Peace Tman!!!
Hey kid... I'm glad you read my second post, and I hope you're OK today... I don't want to' beat a dead horse' here, so, I'll leave one last thing on the dangers and addiction potential of cannabis and the problems (health and mental) associated with ingesting the active chemical THC into your teenage body when you smoke... I do this out of love, so, don't feel like I'm attacking you, please! Also, for any other kid, that feels the same as you, who may read this.... link--- ( www.drug-rehab.com/marijuana-addiction.htm) This is just one link of many that gives you the science and explains how the chemicals affect you in the short term or long term... luv, tman<3 hugs2
haha alright Tman, ill check that link out when i have some free time. thanks =) Peace!!!!
EUREKA! Now we're on the same page about something more: "i am open to a diestic God". Yeah, you misspelled it (but I have a minor in English and spelling errors irk me ;-)). It's "deistic", and at the risk of being redundant, here's the Wiki link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deism. My feelings on this would be a whole post or two...it's much of the reason that I am where in life that I am right now...I'll have to blog it later on...
Dead on, dude...
Peace,
Jay
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