ok, so yes, i have openly stated i smoke pot, and drink, and smoke tobacco (on occasions), but this post should let you know why i aspired to be who i now am, and why i like being me.
ok, so i told you guys about my sister, and how i've looked up to her sense my parents split. well that how i got into drinking. she portrayed it as so fun, and it is, so i do it when the opportunity arises; but she's not the only person i looked up to. to be honest, i never looked up to music or sport stars. i've always been realistic, and knew i would never make it to that hight, so i always looked up to people i knew.
when i worked my 8th-9th grade summer, one of my co-workers smoked pot and cigs. i would always hang with her when she smoked cigs. i think she was 16 at the time. i loved the way cigs smelled, but never smoked one.
i also used to see her walk out of random places stoned. one time i asked her how it was. she responded by saying she was having fun just walking back. needless to say, i looked up to her. she seemed so cool to me.
one break, my sister drove the 3 of us to the co-workers brothers house. out front was a bird bath filled with cig butts. we walked in, and the place reeked of cigs, weed, and alcohol. then we walked up the stairs and into a room. in the room was the 3 of us, one of her brothers friends, and another friend who was 14 (i was 14 too, but he was going into 10th grade). so then one of the guys took out a bong. that was the first time i ever saw a bong, or even weed for that matter. it seemed really cool. they were passing the bong around, and even offered it to me. i said i was good. the co worker kept asking, but then the 14 year old stepped in and said if i dident want to, i dident have to. for about a year, i regretted not taking a hit.
throughout that summer i saw alot more bubblers and pipes.
then i worked at the same place the next year, but that girl had moved. one of her friends, who was friends with my sister too, was working there too so at least we knew i few people. he smoked cigs alot too. he was also gay. he was the first gay guy i ever knew. i looked up to him, which made smoking look really cool.
that was last summer. then this past year, i started smoking pot and tobacco. still not into cigs, but black and milds are ok. and i had drank sense my sister told me about it (7th grade). so that how i got into this life, and to be honest, i dont mind it. i actually like it. i like my parents not caring, and i like my role models. there cool as anything. so Tman, earlier when you said i needed more love, i get enough love, just from "bad people," but i like it just as much. Peace!!! (no hard feelings Tman, =))
And So It Goes (2014)
9 years ago
4 comments:
No hard feelings, kid... not here... just sadness and concern.
I don't think you know how typical your story is... There is nothing new that I haven't heard before, and that's why I'm worried. You see, I know how this story ends, and, it's not good... I understand how you came to start using, and that's equally worrisome. At a critical age, where your brain is still forming the necessary links that allow you to think critically and get a handle on the difficult things that you are facing, the drugs are poisoning and short circuiting the physiological capability of your brain to complete the connections of it's neurotransmitters... By smoking the weed and drinking the booze, you are, in effect, putting yourself at a huge disadvantage- one that may be impossible to overcome...
That music career that you might want?? Forget it... You are literally damaging the development of your brain. Why do you think I call it 'Dancing with the Dragon?'
Do me a favor, kid- look at your friends... (look carefully)... Ask yourself where these friends are going to be 10 years from now... You don't have to tell me what you come up with... Then ask yourself the same question... Be honest, it's YOUR life!! That's the point!! Sooner than you think, you'll be required to take on adult responsibilities... What are you going to do?? Do you honestly think that your drug use will not effect your chances to create a decent life for yourself??
You talk about the difficult years, growing up in your house... Will pot somehow help you escape the cycle of despair that you have experienced?? I'm not talking about the short term feelings that draw you to it... I mean, you CAN'T live as a kid forever... Who's going to employ a guy that uses drugs to find joy in his life?? This is a much bigger problem than you might think... Do you want to be 25, unemployed, and living at home with mom?? I can't imagine that you would, but, that's where you're heading, sadly... How about a career at Mickey D's ?? There's plenty of untrained, unskilled, older people that wished they had chosen a better path when they could, working there, and at other, minimum wage jobs. I think you deserve better than that, but, that's just my opinion... Maybe you are destined for a difficult life, and that's just the way that it is... I need some sleep, now, if I can... luv, tman<3
im glad there are no hard feelings =)
i dont see myself at a disadvantage. at the amount im smoking, its not effecting anything but my short term memory, which im not even smoking enough to make a noticeable effect. im not a pot head. im not a daily toker.
no for my career, im more realistic then wanting to go into music. im a business man at heart, and when im forced to grow up (thinking about a career), ill stop. im not addicted. i dont think marijuana will effect my future life at all. now if i was to get into things like coke, or meth, or crack, or heroin, that would be a different story.
and again, i dont smoke pot to escape from my life, or to make my problems go away, granite, its a nice side effect, but i do it because im experimenting, and getting to know its effects, not escaping from the world.
Peace!
ok spy now i gotta ask what is it about pot that you like? Pots not free, in fact pot is fookin' expensive. It seems to me that a juicy cheeseburger and fries along with an ice cold coke, would be a better way of spending your money. I'm just sayin'
P.S. plz don't shut down ur blog. I'm going to add u n2 my blog list. I had u there b4 but I accidentaly deleted all the blogs in my bloglist and I'm slowly finding them again.
Peace :)
Oh boy, I know what this will cause; I'll incur tman's wrath (and as often as he is dead on the money, I hate to do that).
I've been smoking pot for a lot of my life (but not recently, D@vid is right, it is "fookin' expensive" and I've got NO spare kching!) I've kept it to myself and with a few select friends. It's never interfered with my work life, social life, or much of anything, and the short time I am "out there", life is always good. I don't do it to escape, or forget about life, and the only time I've ever seen harder drugs was at a party my band was having, and we were crashed by 3 weirdo bikers who just showed up and started cooking up cocaine. We got rid of them quickly!
That being said, it can be a bad thing. I've had friends arrested, seen friendships wrecked, kids in huge trouble with their parents, the school, even their churches (who really oughta lighten up and HELP the kids who have a problem with drugs!).
Keep it on the low-down, don't over-indulge, and for pete's sake (whoever pete is - since you don't believe in God, I'll not offend you with using His name), be DISCRETE!!!
Jay
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