ok, so i always do my thinking right before i go to bed, and right when i get up. well i kept thinging about my neighbor, Andrew. idk if i did a post about him or not. he's 13 and in 8th grade. hes fit, plays sports, and very physicaly mature for his age. not to mention, he's cute. i cant fucking get him out of my head... idk what to do. im sure he's straight. oh well. another guy i cant have. i just wish somone else i knew was bi or gay. it'd be so nice.
also, i was thinking about telling one of my close friends (girl), who just so happens to be my ex. but she's really cool, and we talk almost every day now. what do you guys think? would it make my life any easier? should i? i wont until somone comments, and then ill post telling you guys if i did or not. PEACE!!!!! =)
And So It Goes (2014)
9 years ago
7 comments:
hey kid, me again!! lol I read your comment, and know how anxious you feel... The 13 year old kid is probably a heart-stopper; I know what you mean, but he is only 13, and he may be too immature emotionally to handle the type of relationship you may be thinking about... I've dealt with many kids like that over the years in coaching and mentoring, and they are SO cute, you just want to eat them up... But, they are, for the most part, almost always just little boys, in big boy bodies, and giving in to your desires, or theirs, is usually a big mistake!!
As far as telling your ex... IDK; I understand the urge to share this secret with someone else... I really do!! It can be a liberating thing to be able to be honest with someone about who you really are... You should definitely find someone like that to share with...
The only reason I'm a little worried about your ex, is because of the possibility that she'll spill the 'beans' to her friends because of the relationship the 2 of you once had... You know- 'Oh, I knew it wasn't me!! The reason we broke up was... IDK... Do you think she can be trusted?? Only you know this... And, be prepared if it backfires... Just read the blog ' Confused Boy in Senior School'.... His 'girlfriend' is now mad at him, and ready to out his blog, because of it...
Not trying to make you feel trapped, kid... just trying to get you to consider all the possibilities.... Luv, tman<3<3
by the way, there are kids at your school and all around you area that are gay, like you!!! Have you looked into any of the gay organizations for youth in your area?? You know, the support groups... Check it out, that may be VERY beneficial to you... You are NOT alone, kid!! luv, tman<3<3
hey thanks tman, how did u become so wise? haha. and i know what you mean. i honistaly wont do anything with him. we've been friends for a while, and it would just ruin our kick ass friendship. and yeah im gona have to think about who/when i tell too. and trust me, there is only one gay guy at my school. its an all guys catholic school, and that one kid get made fun of nonstop. all the other posibly gay guys are too scared to admit it, and i am too haha.
and also, i live in a small farming town normaly so i doubt there are any gay orginizations, but ill check it out and see if there are any.
Hey kid, how good are you at math?? I'm going to let you figure this one out, since you know what numbers to plug in... After 45 years of reading (I'm not kidding) just about everything I can find on the topic of gay sexuality, in world history, and contemporary and ancient research into this topic, I've pretty much concluded that the minimum number of gays in the average population is 5%... That's minimum... I really believe that it's higher, but let's just use that number... Now, multiply that number by the total number of boys in your catholic school... What do you come up with??
Just because someone doesn't look gay, doesn't mean that he isn't!! If you ever met me, you'd NEVER suspect that I am gay!! People have bought in to the stereotypes over the years that gay guys are more feminine or less sturdy than str8 guys... If you saw me, you'd probably think, 'Big guy, maybe a former football player, probably a cop... Hmmm... I hear it all the time!!
So, now, I'll bet I just increased the odds in your mind, as to who is actually cruising YOU, maybe every day in school... Oh, and that number doesn't even try to include bisexual or gay leaning guys, just 100% gay guys!!! HMMMMM... lol!! luv, tman<3
PS , lots of gay jocks out there, by the way.... I know, I was one!!!
haha well you deffinatily brought up my spirits. the only thing is, no one in my school would admit it.. =( oh well, maybe somone in my neighbor hood will =)
you little maniac!!! lol... ;))) luv, tman<3
I've just discovered your blog, so I'm just getting caught up and this is a first time post.
I happen to agree with tman's figures. But remember, they're across the entire population, not necessarily a subset like a Catholic school, or say the Boy Scouts. I've got experience with one, and it's a lot lower (but not non-existent) there. It's their stance on the matter. The school may be different, because I doubt many of the boys have a lot of choice in where they go to school, but I'd guess they, like you, are pretty deeply in the closet, lest the nuns bring out the rulers.
As for support groups (which the ever-wise tman also mentioned earlier), look for a local PFLAG chapter - www.pflag.org. In my area, we also have the ***** Organization for Sexual Minority Youth. *OSMY has an 888 support line, so if you want the website, let me know, I don't want to post it publicly with my name attached. Neither is campy, and both offer lots of support for gay, curious or questioning teens like yourself. Lots of our public high schools, and a few middle schools in this area have Gay-Straight Alliances, too.
Coming out to anyone is tough. Just ask me, I'm a lot older than you (im guessing, based on tman's 45 years of readng, near his age), and just now thinking that a (coincidentally) girl friend is the one, and it may happen well soon. At least I can trust her unconditionally, plus her daughter is lesbian, and a very cool girl! She once told me that if I was, she didn't care.
I'm enjoying seeing myself again growing up! Keep up the writing, and take care.
Jay
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