guys, you have no idea how sorry i am for really slacking on the posts. i couldent monday-thrusday because of exams, and yesterday i really just had no motivation to. some prety big stuff has happened though.
so mon-thurs was my final exams. they went pretty well. on monday, i went to a carnival like 5 minuets away from my house. it was alot of fun. alot of people i went to middle school with were there. a little awkward at times, but fun none the less. a kid named Daniel was there. ill tell you his story. so he used to date Sara, but acording to Sara, he dumped her because she would'nt have sex with him. she's waiting until meriage. so now Daniel calls Sara a slut for going out with Patrick right after she was dumped.
i was also prety close with Daniel in 7th and 8th grade. now he goes to my rival school (another all guys catholic school in the area) and we never see each other. so it was fun gettin back in touch with him. we even rode the fairest wheel together. yes he's cute, but i know he's straight, so im just messin with him and my other friends right now with regards to that.
sorry im skipping around alot, but i need to tell you about another person, the girl i told i liked guys, Emily. she is a year older than me, but we've been friends sence 6th grade, well she was in 7th at the time but whatever. we were like brother and sister, but when i went into highschool, we lost touch, and just started talking again maybe a month ago.
when Daniel and i were in 7th grade, and Emily was in 8th, we would always hang out at resuse. well one day Daniel told Emily he liked her. it got awkward between thoes two really quick. Emily dident like Daniel like that.
incase you were wondering, yes this is relavent because tonight im hanging out with Daniel and Emily at the carnival i was talking about earlier. it's gona be so awkward because when Emily went into 9th grade, Daniel got really pissed at her for no reason, and they hadent talked in 2 years until monday. well yesterday, Daniel told Emily he though she was really hot, and Emily still doesnt like Daniel like that. so it will be a very awkward night...
now about last night. Peter and Brandon came over and spent the night. ill tell you what happened later because i gota tell you about Brandon. he's really cool, and cute by the way, but straight for sure. he's a year younger than me and goes to Peter's school. i played soccer with Brandon for a year, but that was a while ago. our moms are close though. so, sence the begining of the year, we go out to dinner, the 4 of us, and just talk and eat. by the way, i dont know if it will ever come up, but his dad died 2 years ago, so im tryen to look out for this kid. we got close, and i started talking to him about drinking. he does it ocationaly, like me and Peter. i asked if he smokes, and he said no, but he wants to try weed.
well last night, they came over. we hung out for a while and watched TV. then we talked about girls... its so awkward for me because A) i like guys alot more and B)i dont know any of these girls, they go to Peter and Brandon's school.
after that we played a James Bond game until my mom went to bed. so at 11:45 we snuck out and smoked weed. Brandon said he really liked it. no listen, i know somone will acuse me of not looking out for this kid like i said i was tryen too, but i felt it was better for him to try weed with people he's comfortable with than getting pressured into it by other friends. and i did talk to him about it, and explained that if he only wantes to take a few puffs, or even if he doesnt want to smoke at all, we dont care because we've been there too.
somthing Brandon and Peter dont know is that i perpously dident get that high because i dident know how Brandon was going to react to it. i wanted to be ok if Brandon started flipping out or somthing.
after that, we came in and listed to music, along with goofin off and laughing a LOT.
later me and Peter were gona go smoke a black and mild, and Brandon asked if he could come. we said sure, but before we left, i talked to him about it. he said he wanted to smoke some of it, and i said i'd let him. i also told him that if i find out he gets addicted to cigs, im gona beat him up. i told him not to even try thoes things because it sucks after you know you like them. so we went out, smoked some, then just sat down and watched the fire flys around the lake. idk if i told you but i have a lake behind my house. it's not on our property, but i still go down there sometimes. it was really relaxing. we even saw a shooting star. its was an awsome night.
i think thats all. we said we deffinatly have to do that again. Peace!!!
And So It Goes (2014)
9 years ago
3 comments:
I'll try to post this comment in a positive way... you already know how I feel about drugs, and that includes nicotine...
I guess my question, after reading about the time you spent with your friends is this- It all sounds so nice- the James Bond game, the talking, the late night wanderings, the lake... so nice, so cool, something to remember in a warm way... Wouldn't this have been possible w/o the weed or cigs?? I mean, I had hundreds of similar days/ nights as a kid, and had a blast (still remember them with amusement and warmth in my heart), but, they never involved drugs...
We spent time doing all kinds of mischievous stuff, from making homemade firecrackers and rockets, to plugging exhaust pipes of rival kids' cars with potatoes and then skinny dipping at midnight in the local pools, just out of reach of the popo that were always on patrol... There was NEVER a lack of fun to be had, if you just used your imagination... Parents always sensed we were up to something, so we got grilled... often!! But, in the end, we hurt NOONE and had the kind of fun that kids all over the world did...
I think that your self esteem in life is tied to the kinds of things you choose to do... I always felt a real tie to my creator, and also felt empowered to be a kid- as long as I respected myself and others... I learned, early on, that life gives back only what you put into it... If you want happiness, try making someone else happy, and watch what happens... It often comes back- tenfold... If you want good and uplifting friends, be one yourself... Many times, younger people look up to your example, good or bad... That is one of the responsibilities of being older... When they see you achieving or exerting self control, or smoking, they are looking at your example, like it or not! So, you do have a responsibility to them whether you want to, when you allow them to hang with you----- you become the older brother... Your behavior and decisions should weigh heavily upon your shoulders...
I made MANY decisions growing up, to avoid certain things for the sake of my body and mind, but also for my spirit- to strengthen my resolve and exert control over critical aspects of my life...to be a good big brother to the younger kids in the family... I have never regretted that... A boy becomes a man, when he decides that he is responsible for his own behavior, and has a responsibility to the rest of society to be a positive force, and not a leech, sucking the good will and love away because of his own selfish needs... I know that we live in times that infantilize our young people... Parents think their kids walk on water, or should be able to do anything they want... just because...
It's the wrong lesson to learn, and it'll only prolong the pain of growing up, while the world moves on without you, and the people that you really need go with it.
You're becoming a man, quicker than you believe... You need to start standing for something that other people will point to and nod their heads, and say,"Yeah, he's really something... it seems like he was just a kid, but look at him now!!"
You can still have all the fun in the world- in fact, it will open the doors that are now shut... Your boyfriend awaits... Long chapters have yet to be written, but, they need your participation.
I know you have a good heart, and are really in need of love... It jumps off the pages of your blog. I know you're trying, too... I admire that... Now, the next step awaits... Do you have the strength to become the guy that you really are, deep inside?? luv, tman<3
Sounds like a great night! The best times are had when you smoke just a little weed, not so much that you're totally wasted. Same with alcohol, I like to remember the fun I had when I wake up.
It's when you do it to escape from things and blank out the pain that it becomes a problem. The feeling you want to do it every day, that's when it gets a hold of your life.
Tobacco, now that's an evil drug... the sooner you escape its clutches the better.
Tman, i know what you mean, i really do, but im not good with things like ding dong ditch or stuff like that. and smoking makes things more fun. i like the way i feel, not because i forget about my problems, but because things are funny, im stupid for a change, i can relate to other people... things like that. and believe me, when i say that, i dont mean ill toke every day just to relate, i just look like a dumb a... butt haha i hate being high around sober people.
and my sisters in AA, i know what the addiction sighns are, and i dont have them. dont get me wrong, im glad you are concerned about me, i really am, but im stubern on this subject.
and please dont tell me to grow up... look i had such a shitty child hood... i just want to have a normal out of lessence. when you always have to break up fights between you mom and dad, or you mom and sister, or your dad and sister, or 2 on 1, you dont have alot of time to just be a kid.
Billy, haha i agree!
and im trying to escape from cigs, but black and milds are things i just do on special occations, like the first weekend of summer haha.
Peace guys!!! thanks for caring about me!!!
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